This is a post about who I am (quickly, for those of you who don't know that) and how my life got a bit weirder (for me, at least) (but then, it's my life, so I'm the one who can judge best wether or not it is weird) (at least I think that's how it works). Also, about learning.
Soooo... As some of you might know, I used to be in the French « Classes préparatoires au grandes écoles » system, (aka classes to prepare you to get into a grande ecole), and I got into a Grande École, mine being known as the ENSG, national superior school of geology.
When I arrived, I was completely lost. I saw parties everyevening, people skipping classes, teachers out of fucks to give, and a lot of drinking ; 2nd year students making weird things, no one to give a damn, little groups of people creating around subjects that I did not/could not care about, a grey and dull city (I'm in the suburbs), fog all the time, when it was not raining/snowing. Did I like being here ? Honestly, no. I was really wondering what the heck I was doing there.
Do I like rocks ? Well, yes. Do I like learning about them ? Yes. And what do I learn here, by the way ?
Well, that's an interesting question. We learn about geology and rocks and stones, and half of what we study here is math/physics/computersciency oriented. But this isn't really important. (I mean, programming in python is cool, however, it's not the most useful thing I learned). Looking back...
What I learned was, and still is that... Working is not that important, actually. Because where we are, our grades no longer matter, we just have to pass semesters, whereas before, grades were really... the new goal of your life, or something like that.
Also that friends are important. And when I say friends, I'm talking about meeting new people, and learning that the students you looked down upon because they always get in late and disturb the class (when they come, because they usually are so tired because of parties) are actually some of the nicer people around. So it's also about getting over the prejudices you might have, because, hey, you gotta grow up sometimes and get past what you were told ! It's also about knowing that you can be alone sometimes, and that's ok.
Then, as you can see, it is about making choices, and looking back, and deciding whether or not you'll keep on doing that or this, because that's what you used to do; also, choosing whether or not you'll help others, whether or not you'll collaborate with the group, and deciding what you trade for what. It's about growing up.
It's about progress, learning things (like cooking or drawing), making things (like music, again), creating beauty in the world.
It's about dance and parties and alcohol, and the fact that you can have a glass or two and still be you, it's about boys and girls, and the fact that you can try to ask someone out ; the world will still be there if it fails, and, hey, people can graciously say no, so it can be worth a try sometimes.
It's also about learning that that guy, the guy that you find so cute, is not that pretty in the eyes of another person, and that girl whose face you don't like is someone else's crush. « Tous les gouts sont dans la nature », as we say in France (giyf ^^). Everyone has a shot, but not with everyone.
It's about getting out of your comfort zones, and trying to be more comfortable with yourself. Trying to stop thinking all the time about what you might look like when you dance, what people might think of you if you say that or that. It's about learning that you can be liked for who you are, for what you say, that you can be loved. It's about trusting others, others trusting you. It's about caring less and caring more.
It's about acceptance.
It's about life.
Or something like that.
(by Clementine)
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