BEDA #6 : Cats, Farts and stories for your hearts.

It almost rhymes. Almost.

Cats 
They're lovely creatures, but mostly evil. They're nice when they purr and want to cuddle, but otherwise they seem hell bent on attacking me. Damn cats.  My favourite thing to do with cats, but mostly when they're young and not so keen on sinking their claws into me, is to lift them up and present them to the world Simba style. A plus point is if they're orange and actually named Simba, which has happened before.

Why Fart Jokes Are Funny: A study.
 I don't actually tell Fart Jokes. Ever. But I will laugh at them, because farts are funny. But why are farts funny? What about Flatulence is so humourous? I believe it would be because everybody farts, but nobody wants to admit they do. Humour works when the ending is unexpected. Being considered impolite, it would appear that farts are not expected to occur in society. Thus, whenever it appears, it is greeted with gales of laughter. It also doesn't help that the word itself is funny. Fart. Farted. Farting. It both sounds crude but such a short and concise word. And then there's the sound of farting. Gas escaping from your butt is one of the joys in life. It can either make a cute squeaky sort of sound, or sound like the ghouls of hell have been unleashed upon earth. Farts, ladies and gentlemen.

I consulted the wikipedia page entitled "Flatulence Humour" and have now learnt that far jokes have existed in common society as early as 5th Century BC. Evidently, we have not matured since then. Fart blaming is also quite salient in everyday life, because there is nothing more fun than trying to identify who unleashed the ghouls from hell or who is single handedly attempting to suffocate the surroundings. Before I end my spiel on farts, allow me to leave you with this gem: He who articulated it, particulated it. 

Dad Jokes
At my brother's wedding, my dad gave a speech. And being a dad, he has personal access to a repository of terrible jokes that will make you cringe and want to simultaneously cry and vomit all at the same time. I truly believe that when dads are handed their first child, they also simultaneously become initiated into a secret club of dad jokes where jokes are filed away by degree of horribleness. It ranges from Genuinely Funny to the ultimate facepalm jokes possible.

I leave you with the joke he used to end his speech after he had given a spiel about how my brother told my nephew to pick lego over girls and not make the mistake he made "Remember that Lego has one leg, but girls have two legs".

Yes, yes. He really did say that.

Leave me your best cat stories, fart jokes or dad jokes. :)