BEDA: Look At This Fool, All Blogging Again

• If you have to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Although I love lasagna, a lot, I would have to go with pizza. There's so much variety in it! It is also very tasty. Would be harder to get sick of it and you could also make healthier versions of it if need be.

• Would you rather be deaf or blind? 

I think I would rather be deaf. I rely on my vision a lot, despite the fact that it's nowhere near perfect. It's also rather essential for visual art, which is something I've always done. Since I can remember. I might take breaks from it that last for several months, I may often even despise my art and art capabilities, but I always go back to it. It's like a compulsion. Becoming blind would probably cause me more trauma, a la depression and frustration. And if we're talking from birth then...hmm, probably still gonna go with deaf.

• How are you? 

Meh.

I guess I'll also respond to my own questions. Barring the one I already answered:

• How many pillows do you sleep with and do you have a specific order you pile them in? What is your system?

I have 4 pillows, one of them is technically 3 pillows but they've gone all flat so I combine them and shove them into one pillow case. Honestly, I would like more pillows. Even if I probably wouldn't use them that much. I just really like them, and they tend to go too flat as the time goes on so I feel like I'm always in need for some new ones. I could actually use one more pillow right now. I already do have one tiny extra one, a decorative pillow, but it's waiting to be washed. So what I really need is to get that 5th pillow clean.

I always pile my pillows in a specific way. The larger softer ones are at the bottom, two next to each other, then the medium pillow that works as a bridge between them, and then there's one thin pillow on top that I can really mold into a good form for my face (or alternatively I can use it to cover my eyes or ears if need be). I usually want my face slightly propped up from any pillows and such, since I don't wanna feel the warmth of my breathing, so a floppy pillow that's easy to mold is good for that.

• Do you dream in first person view or in third person view or do your dreams not involve you at all most of the time? Does your dream self look like you?

I always seem to dream in third person view and I never look like me. Once I looked like Tom Selleck! I had a fabulous stache! I was also a cop. 

I've been curious about the statistics on the "viewing modes" people have in their dreams. I've also been pondering on whether how you see yourself in your dreams could be in some cases connected to the body image issues a person may have, or perhaps a reflection on how accustomed to consuming TV shows, movies, games and other media a person is, since in those media you are often the outside viewer, relating to a character (though first person view is pretty common in games. But there are many other factors to consider here, from game time to the immersivity of the game). Maybe both. Maybe neither! I'd totally check out a research article on this. Even seeing mere statistics on how many see themselves in first person view vs third person view vs not at all would be neat.

• If all the chocolate Easter animals came to life, craving human flesh, how would you handle that? (I know you just thought about eating them all. I know. But would you eat a chocolate bunny that's been eating people? WOULD YOU? Or would you maybe figure out something else. Would that something else work? I have provided only poorly defined monsters! You must go on without me!)

I am with Millie on this one: Melting. I would melt them. ( I would not eat them though. I can't imagine chocolate mixed with human flesh and blood tastes that great. And I just don't love chocolate enough. xD ) 

A friend of mine theorized that what if these creatures become more like actual living creatures as they feast and that's why they crave human flesh in the first place. Like a messed up Pinocchio scenario. Therefore after a certain point you wouldn't be able to melt them. But that doesn't make sense, you know, like chocolate animals coming to life obviously does, so I'm just gonna side with the melting option here. (Also, even if they became more fleshy as they eat we could just set up some serious heaters near the place they spawn from, if we knew the location. You know, get them while they're weak!)

And even more questions for bloggers!

- What are your plans for the summer?

- What do you have on your walls? Any plans for switching it up?

- What would you love to buy online right now?

- Tell us about a neighbor/roommate you dislike(d), what did they do?

Beda #?: Mia is Out of Ideas, Thanks Universe for People's Questions

• Where are you right now?

Back at home, under my blanket, pretending the world isn't a thing and my butt isn't feeling oddly cold.

• What are you doing? Are you working? Are you studying?

I'm pretending I am but a blanket roll, a creature of the bed. I live in bed, all I know is bed. What is study? What is job?

• How is work?

I don't have one of those things. Also, blanket roll.

• WHAT IS WORK?

LEAVE ME ALONE I AM BUT A SIMPLE BLANKET ROLL

• ARE WE ADULTS YET?

CRIES

• And tell me what you're obsessed with at the moment.

- CSI: Cyber and how bad it is. I swear, if we do a podcast episode, that is what I will talk about. I am determined.

- Dragon Age. No, I am still not over Inquisition feelings, I am going through it for a second time, and I am almost through Dragon Age 2 now as well. I have my characters and by gum I have my headcanons!

- Characters by my friend and I and the related dumb art we make.

• Any big plans for the next few months?

Absolutely none unless you count constant anxiety, then I have so many plans you guys!

• What makes you feel nostalgic?

Horses, dinosaurs, cartoons, the smell of sculpey, 80s-90s music...many things! 

But let's talk about 90s music because I've been going through these humongous Spotify playlists for what songs were popular in Finland in the 90s. This because I was making an ultimate playlist for a character of mine and I more or less arbitrarily decided that, though there would be 80s music on it, her playlist would be predominantly gross 90s music. 

The thing is, though I remember the melodies of many 90s songs upon hearing them, I can't actually remember their names, rather lone who performed them...or how the lyrics go. So that is why I had to go through those humongous playlists to find any songs I recognized by actually listening to them. It took me a really long time to pick through them, even when ignoring a fair share of them.  I think I spent most of the day on this stupid thing! And let me tell you, there were songs that were so 90s that they made me want to physically gag a little. 

Also, surprisingly many songs about penises. You're welcome.

• What are you reading?

I haven't actually been reading much at all for the past month. I guess I've been taking a break. Before that I was mostly trying to read through Fortune's Pawn by Rachel Bach. Well, until I went through the Song of Ice and Fire series in audiobook form. Now that I think about it, that may have been the thing that got me to take a break. Eh hheh heh. 

I've been thinking about listening to The Disaster Artist by Tom Bissell and Greg Sestero , in which Sestero, who played Johnny, tells about the creation process of everyone's favorite horrible movie, The Room. A while back I was linked to an excerpt of it on youtube (you're welcome, again). Honestly, it sounds pretty amazing. The narrator (Sestero himself) imitates Wiseau so well it's like he's actually there.

After I listened to that excerpt, I had to tell my friend about this book - he loves how awful the movie is and by letting him know of this book's existence, it was like I'd handed him the holy grail of The Room trash talk. I didn't originally end up listening to the book, but today my friend recounted some of the things he found out about the movie-making process through it and, yeah, I think I need to listen to it. It sounds like one heck of a fun book for people who enjoy following a train wreck with amusing narration.

• Apples or Oranges?

Apples. Although I do like OJ. 

Speaking of juice! I want to tell you that I am considering purchasing a blender. We've never owned a blender because we simply haven't needed one, but for a year or so now both mom and I have been wanting one and the other day we were wistfully sighing about how during the summer we could make smoothies. Oh imagine! A hot summer day and putting in some berries, watermelon, juice and, most importantly, ice, and making a refreshing slushy goodness.

My questions for the next blogger:

- What appliance purchases have you been considering?

- How many pillows do you sleep with and do you have a specific order you pile them in? What is your system?

- Do you dream in first person view or in third person view or do your dreams not involve you at all most of the time? Does your dream self look like you?

- If all the chocolate Easter animals came to life, craving human flesh, how would you handle that? (I know you just thought about eating them all. I know. But would you eat a chocolate bunny that's been eating people? WOULD YOU? Or would you maybe figure out something else. Would that something else work? I have provided only poorly defined monsters! You must go on without me!)

BEDA #8 Sarah's Questions.

So my BEDA post comes to you guys TWO DAYS LATE!

On Wednesday I had the fleeting thought that today was my day and then promptly got distracted by doing absolutely nothing at all.

I feel like an imposter posting here now. I'm no longer a student, but what does that make me? An adult? A writer? An editor? I don't know. But the more I think about it the more I want to crawl back into the uncomfortable cocoon that were the essays and exams of my BA.

I say this now, but if I had to go back and do it again... THEY'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

Seeing as I've come into this post with no topic planned, I figure I'll just answer the questions Sarah posted.... Here goes nothing

• Where are you right now?

I'm currently at work. I'm currently staring out into the production room. It's quiet so I can get away with writing this. 

• What are you doing? Are you working? Are you studying?

I'm doing a lot of things actually! I'm still working on the book review website/youtube channel, I'm attempting to do NaNoWriMo this month but am failing spectacularly. I'm working on another pick your path youtube thing and I'm editing a bi-weekly podcast. So lots of things.

• How is work?

I work at a print company and it's pretty cool. I mainly do the reception stuff but I've been starting to do AV editing. It's lots of fun. I went downtown last weekend to stare at the one movie poster I helped work on. It was a scary moment to realize that I'm actually somewhat legitimate now (see the opening pre-amble about my miniature identity crisis).

• WHAT IS WORK?

SEE PREVIOUS ANSWER

• ARE WE ADULTS YET?

NEVER.

• And tell me what you're obsessed with at the moment.

Obsessions are and aren't limited too:

- Reading Memoirs. Don't ask me, I've just been devouring them. 

- Tolkien. I've been a resurgence. I'm drowning in the Tolkien Tag on tumblr.

- Organizing my tumblr, I need to start tagging my stuff. I'm super bad at that.

So that's my life in a nutshell right now. I hope everyone is is doing well. 

MY QUESTIONS for the next victim poster:

• Any big plans for the next few months?
• What makes you feel nostalgic?
• What are you reading?
• Apples or Oranges?

BEDA #4

Oh hello!

So in addition to doing BEDA with you lovely folks, I was going to attempt VEDA and revive my dead youtube channel.  However, the first day I had a total of 2 hours to practice, record, edit, and upload a video, so much like this blog post it was late.  But if you would like to see the final product I'll put it at the bottom.  It's a cover of the Velvet Underground and Nico's "These Days," which I already love but am especially fond of because of its use in Wes Anderson's film "The Royal Tenenbaums."

I am currently sitting in my last quarter of Music History and listening to a glorious Ravel orchestral arrangement of Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition.  The speakers are really pumped up today, so every time there's a bass drum roll or blast of brass my ears revel in glee at the low frequencies.  There's so much dramatic cymbal that every two measures seems like an important event in the music, but really it's all important and beautiful.  Then the piece ends and I remember what we discussed in class last week about the composer's life.  Mussorgsky came from a pretty wealthy family in Russia, but by the time he was 22 lost basically everything and became a civil servant to support himself.  He joined a group of rebellious artists who opposed the tsarist regime, and fell into a lot of bad habits, including copious amounts of drinking.  Penniless and an alcoholic, he died in a military hospital a week before his 42nd birthday. For a visual representation:

               Young Mussorgsky                                         A week before death Mussorgsky

                 

However this, he wrote tons of really epic works such as Pictures at an Exhibition, which is an important work in the pianist repertoire, as well as Night of Bald Mountain, which inspired a super creepy animation in Disney's Fantasia.  Also, apparently Michael Jackson dug him: Michael Jackson does Mussorgsky

Yay learning!

Anyway looking forward to what Sarah already mentioned as well as interesting tidbits about your fields :)

Le video:

BEDA #1: BEDA #3

Hello my dear friends, I suck. It's already April 2nd. BUT I have a somewhat good excuse because I'm currently working the night shift in the emergency department which means that I go there at 22:00 and come back sometime between 03:00 and 06:00 which means that I'm sleeping most of the day and so on and so forth and what have you. I didn't manage to blog during the day and now it's already too late and it actually really doesn't matter. Please note that I'm in a post shift delirious stage, so what I'm writing might not make sense.

Me right now.

Last time we blogged was BEDA 2014 and we didn't even manage to finish that. I have to admit that I had to google our blog address because I kicked it out of my bookmarks! Shame!

So for this BEDA - may it be more successful than last BEDA - I hope to find out:

• Where are you right now?
• What are you doing? Are you working? Are you studying?
• How is work?
• WHAT IS WORK?
• ARE WE ADULTS YET?
• And tell me what you're obsessed with at the moment.

Alrighty then. Sarah > bed.

Anxiety Presentations

Today I shall tell you about my most recent presentation experience.

On Tuesday we had a Science Day at our university. That sounds like a big deal but it isn't. In fact, I am fairly sure that despite publicizing, no one else knows about it besides the people attending the Popularizing Science course. Which is a course that I am indeed attending. The goal was to talk about a sciencey thing, like your own thesis, in a way that would be interesting and understandable to a layman audience – Science Day being open for all. Popularized science, sort of like Sci-Show – though I think they occasionally use more jargon than would be encouraged in a presentation like this.

Anyways, I was to speak about crystal skulls for about 20 minutes. I was pretty nervous. I hadn't practiced much and I wasn't even sure whether my presentation was any good, though I had written a word for word script of what I would say, even trying to add humorous tone in places. I tested it on my mother who started questioning the way I spoke (”Do you always speak in such a mixture of literal and dialect?” * ”Do you do this intentionally or...?”) and the fact that I had to repeat a guy's name several times during the presentation. Since his name is a hyphenated combo my mother thought I was repeating both the first and last names of the person. And I felt the little touch of humorous tone I had written also sounded like crap. So this really did not boost my confidence all that much the evening before the presentation.

Before the presentations, a woman sitting near me started having a chat with me (this course is odd, with these people who seem to just start chatting up with people they don't know, saying friendly good mornings and all. I am not used to this!). She was nervous about her presentation as well. Though her worries were about shaking and fainting while mine were related to forgetting things, making slip-ups and staring at my paper too much. But, during our chat, I started to fixate on another worry: what if I sound like the driest speaker ever. No humor, just monotonic reading off my notes. I thought back to all the most horrendous presentations I'd seen before. Then I realized that I hadn't actually held a presentation all alone during the whole time I've spent at the university. Which is actually pretty amazing – just, how? But really, not the best thing to realize right before a presentation.

I was not actually as scared of performing as I thought I would be, especially as a person who has become more shy over the years and likely suffers from social anxiety. I think I was numbing myself in some sort of self defense. No idea really. I just know I felt weird and my mind was trying to assure itself that no outsiders would bother showing up, and that no one in there cared. Of course my mind also nagged back about trying to lull itself into a false sense of security. But really, a presentation just happens one time, something horrendous happening didn't even cross my mind, surprisingly enough.

The thing that really made me nervous was the fact that the teacher was going to record us and we will have to watch the videos of ourselves performing and write an analysis about it. Presentations happen once. I can forget about them. I can't see myself and I seem to forget what I'm saying as I'm saying it because of the off numbness. See I generally have a problem where I over analyze just about every social interaction I have, I find that one flaw and it will bother me till the day I die. I might stay up nights thinking about it. And when I feel particularly down, while trying to sleep, suddenly I remember all of these little things whether I want to or not. This is what social anxiety does to me. On top of this, I have body image issues.

So what I am saying is that I am scared to death of watching a recording of myself do the presentation. I'm worried that I will find all the flaws I hadn't before, and that I will roll them in my head over and over again. I will be thoroughly embarrassed by them and then I'm going to actually be terrified of holding a presentation ever again. Rational or not. The ironic thing will be that this is the exact opposite of what the recording is supposed to do. A part of the point of us watching the recording is that we will see that our nervousness doesn't show. This is supposed to make us feel better about performing. I am just hoping that I will go numb again and just push through it, which is probably what I am going to do since I do have to do this in order to pass the course.

I think the actual presentation went well, though! I got a positive experience out of it (which is also a part of the reason I don't want to ruin it by watching the recording). Turns out I barely looked at my notes and I didn't end up being dry and monotonic. Something about the situation made me able to have the humorous tone in a natural way, even throwing in some added comments. I got chuckles out of the audience, which felt great. It was just easier to play off of a real audience, well, at least this particular audience. What was even better was that when it was time for questions, I got asked the questions I had hoped would be asked, because I couldn't fit the information in the actual presentation in a way that would make sense, and it bugged me. I also actually remembered things and sounded like I knew what I was talking about, unlike I had feared. The written feedback I got was also positive. The main critique was that I had too much text on some slides, which was something I was already fully aware of and didn't mind.

The thing that I would like to solve though, is that my mouth gets really dry during presentations or when I'm nervous. It makes it harder to speak when the inside of your lip wants to cling to your teeth like a desperate koala bear and your tongue feels like it's passed that cow skull every desert seems to have for the fifth time. I think I might actually have to start using a water bottle, though I'm not sure even that will help.

So. If you ever want to know something about crystal skulls... don't ask me. I've written two articles about them, I have talked about them with my friends, and I have held two presentations about them, as well as watched two shitty documentaries about them more often than I would have liked to, making me pretty sick of talking about them. My written feedback mistook this for me being passionate about the subject. I am not. It just happens to be an easy subject for me.

Okay, fine, you can ask me. Mitchell-Hedges was an amusing character and I will talk about him.

Do you have any worst/best presentation experiences to share? Do you get extremely anxious about presentations?

*Spoken Finnish is, in most regions, different from written. Speaking completely grammatically correct Finnish sounds weird to most, including me. Also, we do not have accents, we have dialects.

BEDA #9: Favourite Directors and Filmography

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this post in the last few days and I've come to a conclusion. I do not have one favourite director... I have multiple.

So here goes nothing:

Honourable Mention: The German Expressionist Movement.

Not a director... but a movement in film history.

I love this stuff. While the US was busily trying to make movie magic make sense and be as close to real life as possible, the crazy German filmmakers decided, you know what. Let's take our crazy fever dreams and put them up on the big silver screen.

German Expressionist film is obsessed with light versus dark and good versus evil.It's characterized by it's wacky sets and overacting. These guys were so dedicated to creating their dark and twisted worlds they went as far as painting objects shadows on the ground because they couldn't manipulate the light to do what they wanted.

German Expressionism went on to influence Hollywood popping up in things like detective movies and influencing current directors like Tim Burton.
 
I RECOMMEND: Nosferatu, The Cabinet of Dr Calligari & Metropolis

Christopher Nolan

I really like Nolan's obsession with gritty city scapes. The first movie I ever saw by Christopher Nolan was Memento. It had been recommended to me by a few people when I first started making noise that I wanted to go into film. It wasn't until my first year at university did I finally sit down and watch it.

Stop and think about movies for a moment. There is a certain language to cinema that we're all fairly accustomed to. As a viewer you know that if the screen is showing a man looking at something and then it cuts to an object that it is telling you: hey, that man is looking at that object. As we've grown up with movies and tv we've been taught this language.

In Memento Nolan throws all of that out the window. The story is told backwards, trust me it makes a lot of sense when you watch it. At the same time it always reminds me of this xkcd comic:

http://xkcd.com/270/

Since the Batman movies, Nolan hasn't really done anything too experimental. The closest he's come to that being Inception, but that was more story than playing with the actual medium of film. I'm interested to see what he comes up with now that he's able to go off and do his own stuff again. Only time will tell.

I RECOMMEND: Inception, Memento

Guillermo del Toro

I love del Toro's style. I don't even know how to put it into words. Pan's Labyrinth got me through my Lord of the Rings withdrawal in high school. I love how he uses symbolism throughout the film. I'm not going to go too much into Pan's Labyrinth now and save that for my next post, look at that all of my posts are starting to connect! 

del Toro is passionate about what he does and his passion shines through in his movies. Look at Pacific Rim. That film new exactly what it was, it was giant robots fighting giant monsters. It was big, it was dumb and it was lots of fun. If you haven't seen it yet, I recommend you watch this one on a large screen to get the full experience.

I RECOMMEND: Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy 2 & Pacific Rim

Stanley Kubrick

Kubrick directed my favourite film in the whole wide world: Full Metal Jacket. I don't generally like war movies but my fourth year seminar was in war in fiction and film and because of that I've developed a grudging respect for the genre. I was assigned to give a presentation on combat film with a list of movies I needed to look at. I had watched FMJ before, but it had been years. Over the course of my research I watched the film at least four times. On my final watch through, the night before the presentation I was sitting on my couch almost in a trance from exhaustion and that's when I saw it. I saw the pattern of the shots in the film, the poetry of scene length, and how everything blended together into one perfect whole.

Stanley Kubrick was a perfectionist when it came to his films.There are many stories about how he harassed his actors (read anything about the Shining) and how they would spend days only focuses on specific scenes.

It's really cool to spot the influences that 2001 still has on science fiction movies.

2001 A Space Odyssey on the left and Elysium on the right

I RECOMMEND: Full Metal Jacket, 2001 A Space Odyssey & Dr. Stangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

BEDA #7:***!ANIME!***

So for the majority of my life, I was one of those people who refused to watch anime because I was intimidated by the stereotype of an animated show with tennis ball-eyed school girls, consistently loud, passionate dialogue, and generally odd ball scenes where you start to wonder, "Why are these vegetables committing suicide?"(Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzEQ1n7EHPM)   However, college has made me more open-minded to other nerd cultures and, after watching a few, I have come to find that they're actually right up my alley.  So far I've only really ventured into action anime, but who knows, maybe I'll soon find the courage to watch My Bride is a Mermaid.

I started with Cowboy Bebop, which seems like a decent gateway anime.  It's pretty much the animated Japanese version of Firefly, but instead of Nathan Fillion doing what Nathan Fillion does, the rag-tag space crew is led by super cool Spike, a crime syndicate member turned good-guy bounty hunter.  It lacks the extremely crazy bits of the genre, but maintains the comedic anime touches in healthy sprinkles.  Probably one of the best parts about that show is the Jazz theme, which can be seen in the titles and heard throughout the soundtrack.  Tank! is one of the best theme songs I've ever heard, and the title sequence immediately sold me on watching. Also, Ein is the most adorable animated corgi on the planet so bonus.

Go dance to this now.

My next show choice was Fullmetal Alchemist, both FMA and Brotherhood, which focus on two brother alchemists trying to recover things lost to an alchemic transaction gone wrong, all while mastering their "science" and eventually playing a huge role in saving humanity. FMA (the first series to be made) captivated my attention quickly.  It is much heavier in subject matter but makes up for it by adding a lot more comedic relief, mostly in the form of making fun of Edward's height.  Side note, is Edward a popular anime name?  I've seen it in at least 3 different shows so far.  Anyway, FMA is excellent, but Brotherhood just blows it out of the water.  The last season is non-stop intensity until the second to last episode. (My face was all : OOOOOOOOOOO)

Characters of FMA:Brotherhood

I just started Attack on Titan, which immediately got dark (much like FMA), although the mood is (so far) always in battle mode, especially since the main character bursts with rage every 5 minutes.  His sister is much more quiet but waaaaaay more of a badass.  This is one of those shows where it gets so intense that sometimes serious scenes turn into comic relief just because you're so on edge and you need something that isn't death, lordy.  Also the Titans (gigantor human-looking beings who would like the taste of crow (for all those who saw the GOT season 4 premiere) ) are flapjackin' terrifying with their big smiles. 

Creepy as hell.

So in review, this is what I've learned about anime:

1. There are a lot of flashbacks to one pivotal event

2. There are a lot of title sequences featuring upbeat Japanese rock over intense fighting sequences

3. There is a lot of passionate yelling

4. Sometimes weird things happen but if you accept it you can fully realize the brilliance behind them

5. Things can fluctuate from intense to corny in the blink of an eye and a lot of times without warning

6. Blood has a tendency to explode rather than squirt or leak in a more natural way

7. Physics isn't a thing

8. Eyes

9. Bangs

10. Little Chibi versions of characters everywhere

11. The shiny glasses thing (you know what I'm talking about)

I would love to know what anime you all are in to, and please send recommendations my way for both anime and manga!

Beda #5: Favourites

I don't really have any specific topic to blog, so I'll picksomething from our theme list.

Recent Favourites

Defining 'recent' as 'so far in 2014'.

Books

I have read four books so far this year: The Cuckoo's Calling (J.K. Rowling), a german book, A Storm of Swords (George R.R. Martin) and Fangirl (Rainbow Rowell). I kinda liked all of them (gave all of them 4 stars and The Cuckoo's Calling 5 stars).

The Cuckoo's Calling was definitely my favourite book this year so far and also one of the best ones I've read in a while. First of all, J.K. Rowling. I love her writing style, it was already great in Harry Potter, but in those adult books it's especially good. Secondly, I like classic crime books. I know many people thought the book was boring because there is not much action in it, but I think it doesn't need that. I like books where there is a sleuth who goes to person A and asks questions and then he goes to person B and then he wonders if person A told the truth. That's really all I need. 

I didn't know that the second book (The Silkworm) is already coming out in June - that's definitely something I'm looking forward to!

The second half of A Storm of Swords finally got me really into the whole saga. So far I found the books a bit boring, not really that much happening, especially when you've watched the show, but I think it really got turned around. Everybody dies! I know that's what everybody said, but everybody dies! What I didn't like about it was that the first part of the book was extra super mega detailed (I mean, in what book do you know exactly when which person went to pee and to poop etc.?), but in the end he just skipped weeks without even really mentioning it. That didn't really fit together for me, but I guess after page 1000 you gotta wrap up the stories. I now started to read A Feast for Crows and I'm already excited.

Movies

Yesterday I finally watched 12 Years a Slave and it was really a great movie. I think it really deserved all those Oscars and thumbs up for Benedict Cumberbatch as a good-hearted slaver. The story is so touching and 'based on a true story' always adds extra sadness for me. If you haven't watched it yet, go and do so!

When it comes to comedies, We're The Millers was my favourites I've watched this year. It's nothing special, but I just found it very funny. Many comedies have completely used up jokes, but this one was a bit different. I also still like Jennifer Aniston.

And an old one that I rewatched lately: Forrest Gump. How good is this movie?

Music

I must admit that I haven't listened to a lot of music so far this year. New music, this is. Currently I'm listening to the Forrest Gump soundtrack, it's excellent.

TV Shows

Hannibal. Hands down. This show is absolutely amazing, great cinematography, great characters, great actors, great creator-and-fans-interaction. Besides this is one of the only shows that actually gives me shivers and one of the few murders in media that are actually still creative and to some degree shocking. Plus, cannibal puns.

Fun fact: When I was 13 I bought Silence of Lambs (the book) because I was into murders and stuff (like any normal teenager, what, that's not normal?), but my parents thought that it's not appropriate for me and took it away from me. That was a BIG fight. Eventually my father called the school's psychologist (I didn't even know we have one) and she said that I can read it. I am convinced that I would not be so much into Hannibal Lecter if that wouldn't have happened. The same story actually happened with my first Eminem CD. Parenting advise: don't try to forbid your kids things like that. They will end up liking it even more.

From comedy shows I currently only really like 2 Broke Girls (everything else got so weird). This show really makes me laugh out loud every episode.

And Pretty Little Liars. It might be weird, it might be crappy, but damn it's addicting. I WANT TO KNOW WHO A IS GODDAMMIT.

Now I'm looking forward to Game of Thrones which continues on Monday (Sunday, but it will be Monday until we poor Europeans can watch it). 

Food

Lately I like to eat tuna. I didn't like tuna as a kid, but somehow my taste changed. I also eat salami now (always hated it) and I slowly start to eat seafood. Is this growing up? I still don't like most vegetables though. Maybe not that grown up.

Anyway, tuna. I like to make a salad with green salad, corn, red beans, onion, olives and of course tuna. It's heaven. And because even one can of tuna is too much for me, I can eat corn and red beans with tuna for the next two days.

Great, now I'm hungry and my mother just called to tell me that we eat half an hour later. So I will end this blog post and go look for something to snack. Tata!

BEDA #4 Question Friday

I have a sinking suspicion I haven't posted here in over a year..... Oops.

Also I realized that I forgot to actually post this. Meaning I'm late too!

QUESTION FRIDAY:

What's My Favourite Tree Smell?
I love most tree smells but if I had to choose I would probably say cedar or pine.


What Have I Been Reading Lately?
Next month is Tamora Pierce month over at Death of the Author, the teen blog I contribute to, so I'm trying to read as many Tamora Pierce books as possible. I'm about halfway done the Songs of the Lioness Quartet and I'm really liking it.

I've also been working my way through Kurt Vonnegut, I just recently finished Mother Night and next on my list is Cat's Cradle..

Favourite Books?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HARD QUESTION

The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
Johannes Cabal: The Detective - Jonathan L. Howard
Monkey Beach - Eden Robinson
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
American Gods - Neil Gaiman

A Job You Say?
Yes! I finally got myself a job that isn't in the Waffle Wagon (but now that summer is on its way the waffles will be calling....)! I'm a receptionist at a printing company. Basically they print posters for movie theatres or other kinds of advertisements for stores and company events. I've been told it'll get interesting when the Toronto International Film Festival rolls around. My job is to answer the phones, ship out the posters and do filing. It's all relatively easy but its not too boring. The other people are great. It's only part-time but it's a start!

Tell us about your favourite film director and write a little tour across his/her best movies from your perspective
I think I'm going to save this post for my next BEDA post, that way I can go into more details!

And finally:

What's Your Cat Doing?
Conquering the mindless sheep of humanity. Conversing with demons and other things that go bump in the night.


I'm joking or at least I hope I'm joking. Lucy has been spending her days following the sun through my house. She had different places to sleep at different times of the day. She enjoys pestering my Mom and begging my Dad for treats. Speaking of her relationship with my Dad. They have a daily ritual where my Dad goes outside and leaves bread for the squirrels by the window and then the two of them sit there and watch the squirrels eat while Lucy goads them to come closer.

When she's not doing stuff with my Dad or normal cat things she takes it upon herself to be extremely creepy. Whether it be waiting in the bottom of your bed to bite your toes or sitting on your chest watching you sleep... She's there and she's ready.

This is the first thing I see most mornings

Gunk and Guild Wars 2

Once upon a time I picked Thursday as a day for blogging, thinking that I would have something to say because I would have one class to attend on Thursday. I foolishly assumed that would give me material to talk about. Well, it might have, but it turned out we did not have that class this Thursday. I have been at home all day. I did clean, but I doubt that you are interested in hearing how much I'd neglected my room and how I found mysterious dust covered gunk on my floor. It was like sticker glue. But not.

Enough about gunk. I've been up to very little things that I actually want to include in a blog post so I'm just going to go with something related to what I was doing today: I have been playing plenty of Guild Wars 2, especially in World vs World mode, in which servers are pitted against each other.  So, players against other players. The main goal is to capture camps, keeps, towers and such from enemies. It can be pretty fun, especially if there are a lot of people around, and if there is a commander around (a player who has purchased the commander ranking and works as, well, the commander of the troops). That's when the large group of people will follow the orders of this commander, usually running very close to them - this large group is often referred to as the zerg and running with it is usually the best for your own survival. The commander is often on Mumble, a audio chat service like Skype but less user friendly and for large conference calls. It's good to be listening in on the conversation because that's when you understand what the plan is better and the commander can issue quick orders.

Running with the zerg feels like running of the bulls really, if you were one of the bulls - you stampede across the hills with dozens of people and if anything gets in your way, you destroy it if you can. If you are that unfortunate lone player out and about and happen to be on the way of the enemy zerg, though? Well, it's like being Simba in the middle of the wildebeest stampede. If those wildebeests were actually hungry for your blood, and kind of a bunch of dicks.

A portion of a small zerg I was running with tonight just to give you some pictures. 

I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere in this picture, dunno where

It is exhilarating though. You work as a team, a large team, listen to the commander's orders (which can sound like a fast-talking auctioneer in a auction with plenty of bids when there's a lot of action going on), prepare, reply and resupply, while trying to defend and avoid. There are scouts - people who follow the enemy's moves or keep an eye out on locations. Sometimes there are groups separated from the main zerg doing any number of important tasks. And the commander or commanders are at the center of it all, trying to keep everything together, trying to win, trying to get all the intel and sort out what is needed while running around.  And it's exciting when you feel like the commander has a plan and that plan is to do something big. So yes, it is kind of addictive, even when you are on the losing side, die a lot, and things get frustrating. It's a nice change of pace to the main game and it's what I've liked doing for the past few days.

Guild Wars 2 did an April Fools thing, turning almost every character into a bobble-head. Made emoting about 90% more fun!

One of my characters, making a face, as a bobble-headed dork

"Answer The Question!"

Han Solo, Rick Deckard or Indiana Jones?
Gonna go with Solo here. I mean, he has a space ship. He does things. In space.

If you were a llama, where would you get your hair cut?
Nowhere, I would be a llama. I just would not care. I would just eat that grass and be a llama. With my llama ways and llama feelings.

What is love? (and no… ‘baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more’ isn’t a valid answer)
Love is….JUST A FOUR LETTER WORD! AAAHA!

(you can thank Bob Dylan for this)

What is air?
It appears to be a three letter word. This is interesting! Air is a valuable resource and should be mined for gold.

Guilty pleasures?
Of course when someone asks me, nothing comes to mind. Except for the really inappropri-- I mean, I remember nothing! Food! Tasty unhealthy foods! Soda!

If you could have any skill uploaded to your brain via plug in your neck (matrix style), what would you like to learn?
A skill? Hmm. Math. All of the math. Or the skill of being really, really good at social situations. I’d manipulate my way to the top or just half-accidentally end up there because I‘d be a likable networking master!

Jedi or Sith?
I would like to say Jedi. I mean, I like to follow the rules and all that. But then a friend and I had this conversation last night…

Me: Honestly, I would do it [referring to a time-consuming solution to the lack of course books problem] if I didn't feel like everyone else should suffer because I've suffered too. 

Me: Maybe some day I'll just drag a chair over to the course books section of the library, with popcorn in my hand, and sit there and watch the miserable people who won't be able to get a course book in time and so have to come to terms with the fact that they will either have to bump the exam or get a book for an over-night loan, meaning they'll have one night to read it.

Me: I'll just sit there and watch, watch their misery. "That's right. Now you know how it feels too. Feel that rage building inside? Give in to it. That's right. Just giiive iiiin."  

Me: ...I might be a Sith of some sort.

What color would your lightsaber be?
Blue.

If you could only listen to one record for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?
Any of the Battlestar Galactica soundtracks composed by Bear McCreary.

What alien species known from books, TV shows, games or movies would you be if you could pick one?
Right now, without thinking too much about it, I would say Turian (Mass Effect).

BEDA #18 - My Birthday!

Yesterday I turned twenty!

It was overall a very unexciting day. I had class all morning, work all afternoon, and a fair amount of homework to do after I got home. But I will share a few highlights.

Highlight #1: Right before I woke up in the morning, I had a dream that my boyfriend had abruptly turned into a psychopathic serial killer and was out to murder me. It was incredibly vivid and pretty horrifying. But I was incredibly relieved when I woke up.

Highlight #2: I got a midterm back that I did very well on. This was a relief since almost the entire class did horribly on the first one (myself included). I was particularly glad because the data problem, which is worth a lot of the test, seemed to me to be able to be reduced further to fewer underlying representations, but I made the judgment call that it would be strange and wouldn't work too smoothly so I stuck with three. And that judgment call was the correct one!

Highlight #3: My boss at work made me brownies! They were delicious. Additionally, I spent the last hour of "work" chatting with my boss and my coworker. I actually lost track of time and clocked out late.

Highlight #4: I am not sure if I've mentioned this before but I'm currently the co-Editor in Chief of a campus publication called Vagabond. We publish student and staff works written in languages other than English, as well as visual art. We are all new to the group (long story) and really haven't known exactly what we were doing all year. However, WE ARE FINALLY GOING TO PUBLISH. We actually have a layout to be printed and distributed. It's going to be pretty fantastic.

Highlight #5: I went to a new pizza place with some of my friends last night. It was rather Italian in that you purchase a personal pizza that's made in front of your eyes. It was both delicious and relatively inexpensive and I will definitely be returning in the future.

Highlight #6: After we got back from pizza my roommates and I ate some mochi and some mochi ice cream (of which I definitely prefer the non-ice cream sort) and these waffly things called "butter cookies". I also got a Toblerone and a laptop case.

Highlight #7: My boyfriend gave me sunscreen for my birthday, which was exactly what I wanted and asked for. It's getting fairly bright outside and I am fairly pale (and moley).

Overall it was a pretty good birthday. My top birthday activity of choice is just hanging out with people I like. And I got to do that quite a bit! Now it's time to feel slightly old but not THAT old.

Also...does anyone else have a problem with writing the date on their birthday? I kept wanting to write 1993 on things. It was a bit frustrating.

BEDA #16: Let's talk about weddings

So because my brother got married last month, it's a topic that has been omnipresent for the past 6 months. Particularly because I helped plan the reception so I am well versed in the details involved.

Often, I'd be complaining to my friends about how stressful the wedding planning was going and how much it was a pain in the ass, only to be replied with either "But weddings are beautiful!" and "Wait til it is yours". To which I mostly reply that I would much rather elope, and am subsequently greeted with a lot of "WHAAAAT?"

Which brings me to my point - are weddings really that necessary? I mean, I get it. It's a celebration that every person gets once (or twice.. or thrice) in their life. It's an opportunity to have the day of your dreams to celebrate being married to the love of your life in front of your friends and family. Its a nice excuse for people to get together, dress up and party.

But really - I don't see how it's worth all the stress and months of planning that are put into it. From menu choices and linen to table arrangements, there's an infinite amount of detail that needs to be decided. I can think of many other uses of my cognitive resources. Weddings involve blood, sweat and tears that eventually culminate in one single day where you're likely to be too out of your mind tired to really enjoy.  Also, family all in one enclosed location? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

If you're asking why don't I just have a small wedding? Yeah, I can't do that. By default Asian standards, weddings are huge affairs. From tea ceremonies with family in the morning to wedding receptions that have like 400 people (every single relative must be invited. Even if you have spoken to them a grand total of once in your life. My brother and I used to joke about how it's akin to inviting the whole "kampung", i.e. village. But really, this would be considered a small-ish wedding. Weddings in India can last up to a week and have thousands of guests. /shudder). And because there are so many people around, it doesn't become about celebrating the couple anymore. It's more about trying to entertain and feed everyone. Mind you, my plans for eloping might actually involve people coming along so it's not like it'll be completely devoid of people.  Like my best friends, who I probably want around. Or maybe not.

So many girls I know have dream weddings that they've been planning in their heads for years and simply can't wait to be able to make it a reality. I don't, and sometimes I wonder whether I am weird. I have no opposition to getting married and what not, but I don't think the wedding is really all that necessary.

What are your thoughts on weddings?

BEDA #15: Tooth Fairies, Racist Holidays And Other Lies My Parents Told Me

Going to the dentist was never one of my favorite pastimes, but my last visit was especially unpleasant. I was sitting in the chair, my mouth opened uncomfortably wide and my eyes squinting in the light of what looked like a miner’s torch on top of his head, as I tried to read my dentist’s facial expression. Even though it was hard to make out much of his face behind his glasses and mouth mask, I didn’t think he looked particularly worried, so I relaxed a little, until:

                ‘It looks like your upper left wisdom tooth doesn’t have enough space. As it stands now, it’s likely that it will push your other teeth out of place.’ He said.

                ‘What does that mean?’ I asked anxiously, speaking as clearly as I could in spite of having medical tools and what felt like ten sticks of cotton wool in my mouth. I feared the worst, and with good reason, because:

                ‘I’m afraid I’m going to have to remove it sometime in the future.’[i]

I, having worn braces for over four years only to get my teeth in the somewhat straight state they are in today, was rather upset by this news. I was also very scared at the prospect of possibly having dental surgery, so, naturally, I whined to my mother about it. She, however, had a word of comfort:

                ‘Look at it from the bright side!’ she said, with an unconvincing smile.

                ‘I fail to see a bright side to this situation.’ I replied, sadly.

                ‘Well, there’s always the tooth fairy.’ She sniggered.

I could only laugh about this comment, so I guess it cheered me up slightly. It did, however, also make me think about the tooth fairy as a concept. I suppose it’s not surprising that an important aging process like losing your baby teeth is surrounded by a myth, but sometimes I can’t help but think the adults were just trying to find out how many nonsensical stories they could make their kids believe before they would start asking questions, all the while laughing at their our stupidity.  This made me think about other lies parents tell their children, and especially the lies my parents told me. Less than true stories I was told as a kid certainly weren’t limited to the existence of a tooth fairy.

For example, whenever there was a rainbow in the sky, my parents used to say that the chickens were celebrating carnival. I know that sounds ridiculous. I can’t even imagine how I could ever have believed that, but apparently I did, because in second grade, after my teacher asked the class when rainbows appeared, I raised my hand in Hermione-like fashion and replied enthusiastically:

                ‘When the chickens have carnival!’

My mom, who heard the story through my confused teacher, still likes to recount the tale and laughs herself silly at my foolishness. I wasn’t a little Einstein as a kid, it appears. I must have thought colored light beamed from chickens having a great time, which is kind of sad, because, really, most chickens don’t have a very great life at all. Oh, dear, I didn’t mean for that dark turn to happen. Moving on!

Another curious and rather cruel thing my parents used to say, was that my sister and I weren’t their biological children, but that they had found us under the bridge near our house. Again, this is a weird thing to say and it makes me doubt my parents’ sense of humor. I imagine they got the inspiration from the stories of Moses and Romulus and Remus, but I am at a loss as to why they applied a similar story to us. But then again, this came from the same people who, whenever we asked where they were going, replied in acted seriousness: ‘We’re leaving the country on a little white horse.’

The things I’ve mentioned so far really seem to have had no purpose whatsoever, but my parents also fed us some lies to teach us lessons. For instance, to keep us from chewing on our own hair, they told us that this could lead big hairballs to form in our bellies, which we would then have to throw up the way cats do. This gory, yet kind of awesome warning was very effective, although I don’t really get why chewing on your hair is such a terrible habit.
Likewise, to keep us from pulling weird faces and sticking out our tongue at random people on the street, we were told that if we did either of those things, and the clock started to chime, our faces would fix and stay weird forever. I don’t know if it was as a result of this story, but to this day, I have never stuck out my tongue at anyone.

Maybe the most wide-spread of lies parents tell their children, is the one of Santa Claus. After all of this, you might be surprised to know that my parents told me Santa was fake from the start[ii]. Santa Claus isn’t very popular in the Netherlands, and even though we celebrated Christmas and decorated the house with some Santa Claus figurines, it wasn’t about getting gifts from that fictional character. We celebrated another holiday instead on December fifth. This very typical Dutch holiday is called ‘Sinterklaas’, and the story around it, is that at the end of every year, Saint Nicholas comes to visit from Spain. He arrives with his helpers in November on a large boat, so he can give all the Dutch kids gifts on the evening of his birthday, December 5^th. Saint Nicholas’ arrival is a grand spectacle including a parade that thousands of people go to watch, and it airs live on national television.  It involves special Sinterklaas songs, actors dressed up as Sinterklaas and his helpers, and the throwing around of cookies. Then, from the day of his arrival up until the actual celebration, Saint Nicholas visits towns[iii], leaves gifts and candy in children’s shoes, and every evening there’s a news show all about him, which is no less serious than the regular eight o’clock news. Basically, the entire country works together to trick the children.

[A sidetrack, but I wanted to note something problematic about Saint Nicholas’ helpers, otherwise known as ‘black Petes’. The thing is that they are black, whereas Saint Nicholas, who is basically their boss, is white. You can interpret this as sending the message to little children that white people are in charge of black people. Also, the story of Sinterklaas tells us that, to deliver presents to children, black Petes would climb through the chimneys to get into their houses, which is given as an explanation for their dark skin color. These things are both extremely racist and factually incorrect. On top of all this, there is actually a Sinterklaas song that literally translates to “Even though I’m black as soot, my intentions are good”, which is just so wrong that I don’t even know what to say about it.]

Anyway, to return to the story, Sinterklaas is one of the best kept secrets in my country. Yet, believe it or not, I figured out that Saint Nicholas wasn’t real before I figured out that chickens weren’t responsible for rainbows. I was seven years old when I realized that the handwriting on the presents I got for Sinterklaas was that same as my mother’s and my parents tell me that I “cold-bloodedly confronted them about it and didn’t seem surprised in the least”. Maybe I was a little Einstein after all.

Why was I writing about all of this again? Oh, right, I’m getting my wisdom teeth removed.  Well, that sucks. As to conclude this post, I still have no idea why parents tell their kids weird lies. I suspect they just like to sit back and laugh about it.

So, that’s all for today. I have to go leave the country on a little white horse.

---

[i] By the way, have you ever noticed how dentists and doctors always say things like “it looks like”, “it seems that” and “I’m going to have to”? Even in Dutch, they tend to use similar euphemisms. What’s that about? It’s not like it make things any less scary and/or painful…

[ii] I’m sorry. I really hate to you if you didn’t already know. I hope you were sitting down.

[iii] Here’s a clip of me playing the saxophone at the Sinterklaas parade in my town last year: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaUBHdcgfdg