Why are boobs great?

So I love boobs. They're great for so many reasons - here's a few reasons why:

• They're like fun stress balls that carry round everywhere with you. They're just so squishy! I mean what more could you want.
• You can become a single handed milk making machine for when you have children. I mean, just whip a boob out, and all of your child feeding need are just sorted.
• When wet, a boob becomes slippery, and I know that I'm not the only girl that spends about 80% of shower time washing boobs because it's awesome.
• Talking about storage, bras are incredible places to stuff money/phones/mints/anything you want. Particularly when wearing dresses, because apparently dresses don't need pockets,
• They are important for balance.
• If you have particularly large breast, you can balance things on top of them, such as laptops - making an easier viewing platform when lying in bed. Or balancing clothes whilst folding them.
• 10 minutes of staring at boobs daily can prolong a man's life by up to five years!

and finally, because boobs.