Thoughts From Places: My Little Spot

I am a person who, these days, prefers to stay in her little room instead of randomly venturing outside, making my choice for a favorite place rather limited. I’m pretty sure my actual favorite place is my bed, but while I could write an ode for it, I don’t think…yeah no. So instead, you are getting what is likely my second favorite place. Or third. Or fourth. I don’t usually rate them.

In Helsinki there is a large blindingly white building, raised on a podium of grey, stony steps, looming over the Senate Square. It is The Helsinki Cathedral, designed by Carl Ludwig Engel, completed towards the end of 1800‘s. And on its steps, there is a spot I always choose to sit on, just off to the side, on the other side of the railing, out of people’s way, where I can look down upon the Senate Square without being disturbed by others.

It is a high place where the cooling wind caresses me no matter how hot the weather seems to be. There I could sit through the whole day, enjoying beautiful architecture, and watching tourists and the birds that are all too comfortable with humans by now. Actually, I’ve done that; I’ve spent a day there a couple of times, silently looking at things and drawing. And earning some sunburns since there is no shadowy shelter where I choose to sit. But I find it entertaining and calming to watch the people from the safety of my little spot.

the cathedral as shot from my spot

I can’t help but to be curious about tourists. A lot of them are elderly. What ever the age and nationality, I like watching them as they climb up the steep stairs, huffing as they go, maybe giving me a glance and a quick smile, as if to say, “Man, this climb“ when they grab the railing by me and use their arm to help them up. Then, on the top, they turn victoriously to marvel at the view over the statue of Czar Alexander II of Russia, and the old buildings surrounding the square. They take their photographs, maybe sit a spell, then, eventually, they have to climb down. Something I see all of them slightly dread doing as they realize how high they are and how steep the way down is. But when they are finally standing on the street again, there is another, perhaps more wistful, victorious glance up at the steps. Usually there are more photos too. This is a ritual most seem to do there. Surely it could work as a metaphor for life itself, but I don’t think I will go there.

Then there are the people who want to sit on the steps for longer than few minutes and pick their place in a knowing manner. They the spot, they open their books, dig their lunches out of their bags, or enjoy the sun, pointing their noses slightly upward, seeking the heat. Often these people are Finnish, perhaps students of the university located nearby. I can’t help but to wish I was studying at that university, just to be able to venture over to the steps to read more often than a couple of times a year. Yet again, maybe I would grow bored of doing that, you can become numb to almost everything after all.

As I now think about observing these people, I am reminded of a time when I was younger. I used to imagine what it would be like to be someone else, to a point where I vividly imagined what that someone was seeing at that moment. Then I would wonder what really made me me. And as my 9-year-old brain tried to grasp this, I started to feel like nothing chained me to my body anymore, and I’d move my foot, just to make sure, I was still me. With the twitch of a foot, I was back. Though I don’t feel like I’m gently floating away anymore, the tendency to wonder what it would be like to be someone else never quite went away. When I look at those tourists, and those people who carefully pick their place on the steps of the Helsinki Cathedral, I wonder what it would be like to be them. And sometimes, I find people, who make me wish I was them. Yet often I just silently sit there, at my spot, drawing, and hope that someone notices.

"I love being in cities with lots of other people because I’m reminded that there are billions of people like me and we are each stuck inside of our minds feverishly trying to crawl out to make connections with other people." - John Green