Sunday, April 6, 2014

BEDA #7:***!ANIME!***

So for the majority of my life, I was one of those people who refused to watch anime because I was intimidated by the stereotype of an animated show with tennis ball-eyed school girls, consistently loud, passionate dialogue, and generally odd ball scenes where you start to wonder, "Why are these vegetables committing suicide?"(Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzEQ1n7EHPM)   However, college has made me more open-minded to other nerd cultures and, after watching a few, I have come to find that they're actually right up my alley.  So far I've only really ventured into action anime, but who knows, maybe I'll soon find the courage to watch My Bride is a Mermaid.

I started with Cowboy Bebop, which seems like a decent gateway anime.  It's pretty much the animated Japanese version of Firefly, but instead of Nathan Fillion doing what Nathan Fillion does, the rag-tag space crew is led by super cool Spike, a crime syndicate member turned good-guy bounty hunter.  It lacks the extremely crazy bits of the genre, but maintains the comedic anime touches in healthy sprinkles.  Probably one of the best parts about that show is the Jazz theme, which can be seen in the titles and heard throughout the soundtrack.  Tank! is one of the best theme songs I've ever heard, and the title sequence immediately sold me on watching. Also, Ein is the most adorable animated corgi on the planet so bonus.

Go dance to this now.

My next show choice was Fullmetal Alchemist, both FMA and Brotherhood, which focus on two brother alchemists trying to recover things lost to an alchemic transaction gone wrong, all while mastering their "science" and eventually playing a huge role in saving humanity. FMA (the first series to be made) captivated my attention quickly.  It is much heavier in subject matter but makes up for it by adding a lot more comedic relief, mostly in the form of making fun of Edward's height.  Side note, is Edward a popular anime name?  I've seen it in at least 3 different shows so far.  Anyway, FMA is excellent, but Brotherhood just blows it out of the water.  The last season is non-stop intensity until the second to last episode. (My face was all : OOOOOOOOOOO)

Characters of FMA:Brotherhood

I just started Attack on Titan, which immediately got dark (much like FMA), although the mood is (so far) always in battle mode, especially since the main character bursts with rage every 5 minutes.  His sister is much more quiet but waaaaaay more of a badass.  This is one of those shows where it gets so intense that sometimes serious scenes turn into comic relief just because you're so on edge and you need something that isn't death, lordy.  Also the Titans (gigantor human-looking beings who would like the taste of crow (for all those who saw the GOT season 4 premiere) ) are flapjackin' terrifying with their big smiles. 

Creepy as hell.


So in review, this is what I've learned about anime:

1. There are a lot of flashbacks to one pivotal event
2. There are a lot of title sequences featuring upbeat Japanese rock over intense fighting sequences
3. There is a lot of passionate yelling
4. Sometimes weird things happen but if you accept it you can fully realize the brilliance behind them
5. Things can fluctuate from intense to corny in the blink of an eye and a lot of times without warning
6. Blood has a tendency to explode rather than squirt or leak in a more natural way
7. Physics isn't a thing
8. Eyes
9. Bangs
10. Little Chibi versions of characters everywhere
11. The shiny glasses thing (you know what I'm talking about)

I would love to know what anime you all are in to, and please send recommendations my way for both anime and manga!






BEDA #6 Thoughts from a tutor

On and off for the past two years, I've tutored students who are retaking subjects that they had failed, as well as current students conducting their own research. But that was always one-to-one or small groups. For the past three months on the other hand, I've been a part-time graduate tutor - teaching tutorials to groups of 10-15 students. It's good fun, and can be very intrinsically fulfilling if you're into imparting knowledge and those sort of things. But it can also be extremely frustrating when you can't get through to someone, or nobody ever answers you in class. These are some things that have popped into my head at least once in the last three months. 

When everyone seems stupid
" Stupid people should not be allowed to procreate" 
" How did you ever get into university?"
" JUST. READ. THE. GODDAMN. TEXTBOOK. THE. ANSWER. IS. THERE. "
" Please don't fail, please don't fail, please don't fail"

When everyone seems smart
" Oh wow Why did I not think of that? "
" That was a smart question. Shit. I don't know the answer. HEEELLPPP"
" You most certainly must be thinking that I'm stupid right now. Maybe I am" 
" I definitely did not understand that when I was in your shoes"

When I can't believe I'm being tasked to impart knowledge. 
" Why are you people so motivated to come for an 8am tutorial. I'm getting paid. What's your excuse"
" Oh, if only they knew that I don't actually know anything but am just really good at bullshitting"
" Has anybody even been listening? "

There's a mantra that a fellow tutor told me at the start of my tutorship. "Assume maximum stupidity, and start from there". It sounds horrible, but it works. It's helpful for people who really do need the help, and it's helpful for me because it feels like my work is half-done when I face moderately intelligent people (which is most of the time). Ah, life. 


Saturday, April 5, 2014

Beda #5: Favourites

I don't really have any specific topic to blog, so I'll picksomething from our theme list.

Recent Favourites

Defining 'recent' as 'so far in 2014'.

Books
I have read four books so far this year: The Cuckoo's Calling (J.K. Rowling), a german book, A Storm of Swords (George R.R. Martin) and Fangirl (Rainbow Rowell). I kinda liked all of them (gave all of them 4 stars and The Cuckoo's Calling 5 stars).

The Cuckoo's Calling was definitely my favourite book this year so far and also one of the best ones I've read in a while. First of all, J.K. Rowling. I love her writing style, it was already great in Harry Potter, but in those adult books it's especially good. Secondly, I like classic crime books. I know many people thought the book was boring because there is not much action in it, but I think it doesn't need that. I like books where there is a sleuth who goes to person A and asks questions and then he goes to person B and then he wonders if person A told the truth. That's really all I need. 
I didn't know that the second book (The Silkworm) is already coming out in June - that's definitely something I'm looking forward to!



The second half of A Storm of Swords finally got me really into the whole saga. So far I found the books a bit boring, not really that much happening, especially when you've watched the show, but I think it really got turned around. Everybody dies! I know that's what everybody said, but everybody dies! What I didn't like about it was that the first part of the book was extra super mega detailed (I mean, in what book do you know exactly when which person went to pee and to poop etc.?), but in the end he just skipped weeks without even really mentioning it. That didn't really fit together for me, but I guess after page 1000 you gotta wrap up the stories. I now started to read A Feast for Crows and I'm already excited.

Movies
Yesterday I finally watched 12 Years a Slave and it was really a great movie. I think it really deserved all those Oscars and thumbs up for Benedict Cumberbatch as a good-hearted slaver. The story is so touching and 'based on a true story' always adds extra sadness for me. If you haven't watched it yet, go and do so!

When it comes to comedies, We're The Millers was my favourites I've watched this year. It's nothing special, but I just found it very funny. Many comedies have completely used up jokes, but this one was a bit different. I also still like Jennifer Aniston.

And an old one that I rewatched lately: Forrest Gump. How good is this movie?

Music
I must admit that I haven't listened to a lot of music so far this year. New music, this is. Currently I'm listening to the Forrest Gump soundtrack, it's excellent.

TV Shows
Hannibal. Hands down. This show is absolutely amazing, great cinematography, great characters, great actors, great creator-and-fans-interaction. Besides this is one of the only shows that actually gives me shivers and one of the few murders in media that are actually still creative and to some degree shocking. Plus, cannibal puns.
Fun fact: When I was 13 I bought Silence of Lambs (the book) because I was into murders and stuff (like any normal teenager, what, that's not normal?), but my parents thought that it's not appropriate for me and took it away from me. That was a BIG fight. Eventually my father called the school's psychologist (I didn't even know we have one) and she said that I can read it. I am convinced that I would not be so much into Hannibal Lecter if that wouldn't have happened. The same story actually happened with my first Eminem CD. Parenting advise: don't try to forbid your kids things like that. They will end up liking it even more.

From comedy shows I currently only really like 2 Broke Girls (everything else got so weird). This show really makes me laugh out loud every episode.

And Pretty Little Liars. It might be weird, it might be crappy, but damn it's addicting. I WANT TO KNOW WHO A IS GODDAMMIT.

Now I'm looking forward to Game of Thrones which continues on Monday (Sunday, but it will be Monday until we poor Europeans can watch it). 

Food
Lately I like to eat tuna. I didn't like tuna as a kid, but somehow my taste changed. I also eat salami now (always hated it) and I slowly start to eat seafood. Is this growing up? I still don't like most vegetables though. Maybe not that grown up.
Anyway, tuna. I like to make a salad with green salad, corn, red beans, onion, olives and of course tuna. It's heaven. And because even one can of tuna is too much for me, I can eat corn and red beans with tuna for the next two days.

Great, now I'm hungry and my mother just called to tell me that we eat half an hour later. So I will end this blog post and go look for something to snack. Tata!

BEDA #4 Question Friday

I have a sinking suspicion I haven't posted here in over a year..... Oops.

Also I realized that I forgot to actually post this. Meaning I'm late too!

QUESTION FRIDAY:

What's My Favourite Tree Smell?
I love most tree smells but if I had to choose I would probably say cedar or pine.


What Have I Been Reading Lately?
Next month is Tamora Pierce month over at Death of the Author, the teen blog I contribute to, so I'm trying to read as many Tamora Pierce books as possible. I'm about halfway done the Songs of the Lioness Quartet and I'm really liking it.

I've also been working my way through Kurt Vonnegut, I just recently finished Mother Night and next on my list is Cat's Cradle..

Favourite Books?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HARD QUESTION

The Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien
Johannes Cabal: The Detective - Jonathan L. Howard
Monkey Beach - Eden Robinson
Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
American Gods - Neil Gaiman

A Job You Say?
Yes! I finally got myself a job that isn't in the Waffle Wagon (but now that summer is on its way the waffles will be calling....)! I'm a receptionist at a printing company. Basically they print posters for movie theatres or other kinds of advertisements for stores and company events. I've been told it'll get interesting when the Toronto International Film Festival rolls around. My job is to answer the phones, ship out the posters and do filing. It's all relatively easy but its not too boring. The other people are great. It's only part-time but it's a start!

Tell us about your favourite film director and write a little tour across his/her best movies from your perspective
I think I'm going to save this post for my next BEDA post, that way I can go into more details!

And finally:

What's Your Cat Doing?
Conquering the mindless sheep of humanity. Conversing with demons and other things that go bump in the night.


I'm joking or at least I hope I'm joking. Lucy has been spending her days following the sun through my house. She had different places to sleep at different times of the day. She enjoys pestering my Mom and begging my Dad for treats. Speaking of her relationship with my Dad. They have a daily ritual where my Dad goes outside and leaves bread for the squirrels by the window and then the two of them sit there and watch the squirrels eat while Lucy goads them to come closer.

When she's not doing stuff with my Dad or normal cat things she takes it upon herself to be extremely creepy. Whether it be waiting in the bottom of your bed to bite your toes or sitting on your chest watching you sleep... She's there and she's ready.

This is the first thing I see most mornings


Friday, April 4, 2014

The Fact That This Is Two Days Late Is Telling

In the past few weeks I have been...

1) Writing a Harry Potter-based script for my a cappella group's show in May...

Excerpt:

Harry and Ron rush over to the Cal Quidditch team booth. Two students are manning the booth

RON (to HARRY): Wowowowow! This is crazy! I didn’t think they had Quidditch outside of Britain! Or even outside of the wizarding world!

QUIDDITCH TEAM MEMBER: Hey, are you two interested in playing Quidditch?

RON: Are we ever! When do you all hold tryouts?

QTM: Well, we have two teams, and there are tryouts for the more competitive team.

RON: Well, sign us both up!

QTM: Just fill out your email addresses and phone numbers here.

RON: Huh?

HARRY: Those things, remember? The numbers and letters and things, with the funny little circly a-symbol…

RON: Oh, right. Dad helped me figure it out.

RON starts fishing around in his pocket for a slip of paper. He takes it out and copies down, out loud…



RON: I, Ronald Weasley, am definitely just a muggle circly a-symbol berkeley. (Pause, like the end of a sentence) Edu.
2) Thinking a lot about/doing a lot of music-related stuff. I just went to a music department panel about listening; how we listen to music, how we listen differently, what active listening means, etc. It was super interesting; it's amazing how much there is to pay attention to and how much I miss most of the time.
3) Listening a LOT to Janelle Monáe...
4) Having a lot of senioritis...
5) Getting an iPhone! I am finally part of the 21st century.
I'm planning to go into San Francisco this weekend which will be nice. I haven't been there in months. I miss the ocean. Probably gonna get some Ghirardelli.
There are protests going on right now by the grad students on campus about unfair labor practices. The university does not pay them well at all and basically uses them as cheap labor. The idea is that they have to work to get their PhD, that it "builds character", but it's really pretty crappy. I hope all goes well for them. 20 students at UCSC were already arrested, and based on the track record of campus response to protests here lately, I am not feeling too positive about it.
Also we're in a drought here...which really sucks...it's rained a bit but not nearly enough. It's been super clear the last couple of days...
My next post will be much more exciting, I promise. I'm just kind of braindead from school. I need summer now, but it's still a month and a half away.

Gunk and Guild Wars 2

Once upon a time I picked Thursday as a day for blogging, thinking that I would have something to say because I would have one class to attend on Thursday. I foolishly assumed that would give me material to talk about. Well, it might have, but it turned out we did not have that class this Thursday. I have been at home all day. I did clean, but I doubt that you are interested in hearing how much I'd neglected my room and how I found mysterious dust covered gunk on my floor. It was like sticker glue. But not.

Enough about gunk. I've been up to very little things that I actually want to include in a blog post so I'm just going to go with something related to what I was doing today: I have been playing plenty of Guild Wars 2, especially in World vs World mode, in which servers are pitted against each other.  So, players against other players. The main goal is to capture camps, keeps, towers and such from enemies. It can be pretty fun, especially if there are a lot of people around, and if there is a commander around (a player who has purchased the commander ranking and works as, well, the commander of the troops). That's when the large group of people will follow the orders of this commander, usually running very close to them - this large group is often referred to as the zerg and running with it is usually the best for your own survival. The commander is often on Mumble, a audio chat service like Skype but less user friendly and for large conference calls. It's good to be listening in on the conversation because that's when you understand what the plan is better and the commander can issue quick orders.

Running with the zerg feels like running of the bulls really, if you were one of the bulls - you stampede across the hills with dozens of people and if anything gets in your way, you destroy it if you can. If you are that unfortunate lone player out and about and happen to be on the way of the enemy zerg, though? Well, it's like being Simba in the middle of the wildebeest stampede. If those wildebeests were actually hungry for your blood, and kind of a bunch of dicks.

A portion of a small zerg I was running with tonight just to give you some pictures. 
I'm pretty sure I'm somewhere in this picture, dunno where

It is exhilarating though. You work as a team, a large team, listen to the commander's orders (which can sound like a fast-talking auctioneer in a auction with plenty of bids when there's a lot of action going on), prepare, reply and resupply, while trying to defend and avoid. There are scouts - people who follow the enemy's moves or keep an eye out on locations. Sometimes there are groups separated from the main zerg doing any number of important tasks. And the commander or commanders are at the center of it all, trying to keep everything together, trying to win, trying to get all the intel and sort out what is needed while running around.  And it's exciting when you feel like the commander has a plan and that plan is to do something big. So yes, it is kind of addictive, even when you are on the losing side, die a lot, and things get frustrating. It's a nice change of pace to the main game and it's what I've liked doing for the past few days.

Guild Wars 2 did an April Fools thing, turning almost every character into a bobble-head. Made emoting about 90% more fun!

One of my characters, making a face, as a bobble-headed dork

Thursday, April 3, 2014

BEDA 2: this BEDA thing is going well

So well in fact that we were organized enough to schedule people for the 32nd and 33rd of March. Shame we forgot. So much shame...

Anyway, here is something. A day late, but it's something. I shall pick the theme "something that has frustrated you lately".

Because I have spent the last couple of days playing around in the boot menus of laptops trying to get them to run Linux. And that is a very frustrating thing. 

Linux is an open-source operating system kernel that has many people working on releasing new variants all the time. Computers running Linux tend to be slightly behind on ease of use compared with Windows and Macs, but they also tend to be simpler in the essentials, and they let you do whatever you like with the computer if you know how. Also if you don't know how, which can get a little dangerous if you're not careful. 
Since I have a decent idea of what I'm doing most of the time I prefer to run an operating system that wasn't written for laymen, and there are many people who agree with me, which is why Linux's market share (if you can say that something free has a market share) is increasing. Naturally, Microsoft and Apple don't like this.
Now for Apple there's not much they can do: their computers are already locked up and pretty secure against anyone running any software that hasn't received their blessing. If you buy a Mac, you run Mac OS*. If you are Microsoft, then your reaction to this is two-fold: start making computers, and write more defensive software.

Now, I wasn't stupid enough to try to install Linux on one of Microsoft's "sufaces", but I didn't realize just how well Windows 8 and the Microsoft Boot loader could cling to a computer. I spent a day with a new laptop, trying first to get the computer to recognize that there were other boot options than just Windows, and then to get it to actually boot them successfully. Eventually I took it back. Luckily I had explicitly asked the shop assistant if I would be able to install Linux and he had said yes, so the guy behind the help desk who was of the opinion that obviously that PC wouldn't take Linux was willing to refund it as I was wrongly advised. Half a day of research and a different shop later and I had a new laptop. The one on which I am now typing. 

It appears that, for the most part**, ASUS make computers that are not hardwired to defend Microsoft's territory. Acer are not so good. I assume money exchanged hands. But I now have a Linux Laptop***, so I'm happy. 

So that's what I've been doing the last couple of days. I hope your Aprils have all been more rewarding so far.


* Unless you're Linus Torvalds, the guy who started Linux. He reputedly runs his own OS on a Mac. But he seriously knows what he's doing. 
**Check before buying, don't take my word for it, if you want to do this...
***The particular variant of Linux that it runs is called Fedora. That's right, my computer is a Nice Computer. 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

At Last: Sarah's Secret Santa Present (SSSP)

I planned to do that right after Christmas, but excuse-excuse-excuse-too busy-no time-abroad-excuse and so I've decided to finally post this today. (Actually it mostly failed so far because I was too lazy to take pictures. Shame on me.)

I got my SSSP from Ali (and James) :) I got two packages from Amazon, one was nicely wrapped (I didn't know they actually wrap it so nicely) and one was not wrapped, but had a sticker on the box saying "This is a gift for you" or something like that, so I knew not to open it too early (and Ali, I completely don't mind the not wrapping part, just for the record and that does sound stupid now stop writing Sarah okay). Amazon is actually pretty awesome.

Anyway.

I got two books. The first one is the "Colouring Book for Grown-Ups" which I've already seen on Pinterest and it's really awesome. It has all those pages with activities and I think it will be a lot of fun (I haven't done anything so far, but you know, I will)!

Below are some of my favourite pages:



























The second one is a little book called "All my friends are dead". On the back it says All my friends are dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read. Oh, how true this is!

I took pictures of the first few pages:









It continues like this and I find it absolutely funny. Exactly my humour, good pick, Ali! Thanks a lot for those cool presents, I really like them :)

What else is up in my life? I have vacation now and in March I start the last "proper" semester of my life. Growing up is scary. I also finally got around to get a topic for my dissertation (I call it dissertation when it's really a diploma thesis, but it's kinda similar and I'm a Dr. med. after that) and I should really move my ass and go to collect data (my topic is "Longterm outsome after treatment of intracranial aneurysms" and first we have to make a database with all patients who were treated in our hospital for an aneurysm). My boyfriend is flying to Sochi on Thursday which is absolutely terrifying, so maybe I can work then to get my mind off a bit and so that I don't check the news every five seconds if there has been a terrorist attack.

I promised myself to be productive today, but instead I watched seven episodes of several shows and now I'm gonna eat ice cream. Because I can.

What is up with you? I would find it nice if we could blog more again. Or at least talk on Facebook. It's been awfully quite there. And I want to know what YOU got as Secret Santa presents!

Sunday, October 20, 2013

My Current Reading, or How to Bankrupt Yourself and Fail Your Degree in 2 Easy Steps



  1. Enter a bookshop.
  2. Do what comes naturally.

So what am I reading at the moment? Far too much, and I have far too much to say on them to keep to comment conversations. So here's a blog post about some of the books on my shelf. These are what I have finished recently:

The Wise Man's Fear- Partick Rothfuss
Not particularly enamoured with Rothfuss' writing. The story and world bases set down in The Name of the Wind got me willing to read this eventually, but something that was massively foreshadowed in the first book and should have happened at the beginning of the second so the plot could develop freely still hasn't happened. I fear another fantasy author following the GRRM path of fretting out  after book, full of words, characters and magic: signifying nothing.

Ender's game- Orson Scott Card
Obviously read it because of the film and I've wanted to read it for ages anyway. It's so good. Thematically it reminds me of the Hunger Games, but with rather better intentions behind it and less death. Still brutal treatment of children for the sake of survival and stability. Plus space. Gotta love the bit about it being set in space! Anyway, it's well written, thematically interesting and compelling plotwise, so this one makes me happy.

The Books of Magic- Neil Gaiman et al.
I had never read a graphic novel before and I wanted to give the genre a shot. Someone mentioned this one, so I found it and bought it. It took some time to get used to reading speech bubbles and using the pictures as part of the story telling. It was amusing, but I don't think I'm going to return to graphic novels, especially considering the price. I understand why they are more expensive, but I still feel I am buying less.
______________

And this is what I'm actually picking up at the moment. It's a little much to be coherent in my mind. I don't tend to read one book straight through (except books which are badly written; really don't know why that is), so it's a longer list than such a one should really be.

Let it Snow- John Green et al.
Saw it on a shelf, stirred something in my memory, bought it. 1st print English ed. paperback. What took you so long Penguin? It was only published in the States 5 years ago... I've read Maureen Johnson's story. Rather good, although I'm going to wait to get into something of a more Christmassy mood to keep on reading.

Les Miserable- Victor Hugo tr. Norman Denny
I've only seen the musical 3 times (plus the film, but... doesn't really count does it?) I figured it was time to read the original. Well... a translation anyway. If I had been told how it began I would have been apprehensive about it. Chapter after chapter exploring the intricacies of a single character. But somehow it works. It was a joy to read about Monseigneur Bienvenu and learn of his brief encounter with the wretch who is to become the main character. To quote the translator's introduction, "[Hugo] was incapable of leaving anything out. The book is loaded down with digressions, interpolated discourses, passages of moralizing rhetoric and pedagogic disquisitions." This and more is already obvious from the short way I've travelled in this book, and I am really looking forward to continuing.

The Dark is Rising- Susan Cooper
This was suggested to me by a Nerdfighter Primary School teacher friend of mine due to my taste in fantasy. I'm not particularly impressed yet, but that might be the age of the target audience rather than the actual quality of the book. That said, I was told that it gets better in the rest of the series, so we'll see if I manage to get far enough to find out.

The Hobbit- J.R.R. Tolkien
Because I've always something from Tolkien on the go. My university room didn't feel like home until my LotR and Hobbits arrived. Nothing's changed. It's still as brilliant as last time I read it.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

A Not-So-Brief Primer On Australian Politics So That You Will Understand The 30-Second News Spot You Get Later Today Announcing Things.

Today in Australia is Federal Election Day. I'm not sure how much coverage we get overseas, but it's likely to be non-zero but minimal, and as your resident Australian I thought you might be interested in a slightly deeper understanding of what's going on.

The Basics


Let's start with the very very basics. Australia is divided into five states and two territories. Each of these has their own state government, whose responsibilities are generally pretty local - school curriculums, hospitals, highways. That kind of stuff. There is also a Federal Government. Their responsibilities are things like collecting taxes, running Medicare, setting foreign policy, and so on.

Apart from different areas of responsibility, the two levels are pretty similar, so in the interests of brevity I'm just going to talk about the Federal level from now on. If you want to skip ahead to the bit about the election, that's cool. This is mostly background.

The legislative arm of government is called parliament, and it consists of two houses. We were very uncreative back in the 1900s, so we nicked the names off the US (They're called the House of Representatives and the Senate) and the way they work off the Brits (they work pretty much like the House of Commons and the House of Lords, except we elect our upper house members).

The House of Reps is largely responsible for making laws, as they are the only house that's allowed to introduce bills (draft laws) that spend money. The House requires 50% plus one vote to pass a bill. All bills need to be passed by both houses before they become law. If one fails a vote, then it is sent back to be amended, which can happen a maximum of three times before it has to be dropped. It's generally considered rude to continuously block important bills like the budget, because it can cause the Governor General (the Queen's representative) to exercise their only remaining legal power and turf you all out to have a fresh election. This has only happened once, and it caused rather a mess.

For the sake of convenience, there are several parties which tend to hold blocks of seats in order to make getting their legislation through easier. Which ever party currently holds a majority in the House is called the government, and the leader of that party is the prime minister. Occasionally, like at the last election, a coalition of parties will form a government together, which causes headaches for everyone because usually they disagree with each other on stuff. I have no idea how much this was publicised outside of Australia, but the last couple of times our prime minister changed, it wasn't because of elections. It was because of exactly this type of inside-party power struggles. If you did hear about this, I'd be curious to find out how it was portrayed internationally.

Elections


Every three-ish years (there are no fixed terms, just a four year limit), the current government calls an election. The election date is always a weekend, (usually a saturday), and because this is Australia, generally timed to avoid any major sporting events. Because we would legit rather watch the cricket than go out and vote.

Except that voting is compulsory. You don't have to enrol to vote, but if you are enrolled and you don't vote, you get sent a $50 fine by the electoral commision. Americans tend to find the idea of being compelled to vote abhorrent, while we find the idea that less half the population sometimes votes a bit ridiculous. Both systems have their benefits and drawbacks, though - ours is that it results in simplistic campaigns and policies appealing to the lowest common denominator to try to sway uninterested voters.

So, you rock up to your polling place. You get two ballot papers. One is for the House of Reps, for your local Member of Parliament. There's one of these for about every 80,000 citizens, and they're elected by a local area. These tend to be more stable, as you have the same people mostly voting the same way for the same local person every election. For example, I live in a seat which has elected Julie Bishop every year since 1998, and today, we're probably going to do it again. Some people find this frustrating.

Then you have to vote for the Senate. There are 12 Senate seats per state, but they're on 6-year terms so we only elect half of them at once. Much like the US, this is because the smaller states put up a fight way back about not getting pushed around by the larger ones, who would get more House seats because of their larger population. The senate tends to be a lot more diverse, and minor parties or independents are much more likely to get elected here because they don't have to sway a whole local area - they just have to find their quota of votes, from anywhere in the population. This gives the Senate a reputation for being a check on the government's power, though occasionally one party will gain a majority in both and use it to push their own legislation through.

The way your vote works is like this: You number all the boxes, in the order prefer. Then, after everyone's '1' votes are counted, if there isn't a clear winner, the candidate with the lowest number of '1' votes is knocked out, and their votes distributed to whoever those voters voted '2' for. This process repeats until a candidate gets 50%+1 vote, and is elected. This is great, because it means you can't 'waste' your vote by voting for a minor party - which actually gives those parties a chance to get votes.

We generally know our election results, at least in terms of who will be the government, the same night, or occasionally the next morning. Counting every vote does take a couple of weeks, and sometimes Senate seats can be up in the air for a while.

The Issues

So here's who's running this election, and vaguely what issues we're basing our decision on as a nation.

The Labor party currently holds government, though only tenuously. They are left-wing economically, and like to portray themselves as looking after the average Australian. They originated from, and still have strong ties to, workers unions. Hence the name. They're led by Kevin Rudd, the current Prime Minister.


The Coalition is comprised of the conservative Liberal party (yes, confusing) and the regionally-focussed National Party. Being right-wing-ish, they generally focus on lowering taxes and reducing Government spending. They're currently led by Tony Abbott.

The Greens are very left wing, and are generally about the environment and social justice. Last election they won their first House of Reps seat ever, so they're irrelevant there. In the senate, though, they're a quite influential.

There are a couple of new parties too. Palmer United is run by Queensland billionaire Clive Palmer, and mostly has the policy of Clive Palmer wanting to be Prime Minister. They might win some seats, but I think they just look more significant than they are because of Palmer's penchant for spending his billions on political ads. Then there's Katter's Australia Party, run by former independent (non-party member) Bob Katter. I don't even know what they stand for.

Oh yeah, there are also a bunch of independents and minor parties.

This election, they've been mostly questioning the character of each others' leaders, though occasionally some actual policy gets announced by accident. Most people find the state of the situation generally to be "slightly bullshit", and tend to classify the lot of them as "bastards".

The policy which has actually been debated is centered around:
  • Asylum seekers, and how we should deal with them. Both major parties want to 'stop the boats' (referring to how they arrive on boats), and put refugees in detention or send them to Indonesia. The Greens alone want to land them.
  • The National Broadband Network, a massive infrastructure project to install fiber-optic internet in every Australian home. Started by Labor. Amazing idea, but is naturally over budget. The Coalition wants to scale it back, and just run fibre to every street corner and use the existing phone infrastructre for the 'last mile'. This will be slightly cheaper, and much slower.
  • The Carbon Tax. Last term, under pressure from the Greens, Labor introduced a price per tonne on carbon dioxide emissions. The Coalition wants to replace this with an emissions trading scheme (which basically means they want the carbon price to be set by the market rather than the government.) The Labor party also want to do this because it's a reasonable idea, so nobody is quite sure what they're yelling about.
  • The Mining Tax. Last term again, Labor introduced a tax on large mining companies who make extremely large profits. It was pretty unsuccessful, mostly because they introduced a bunch of concessions in order to appease the mining companies, who are basically holding up the entire economy and are the reason we didn't go into a recession with the rest of the world. The Coalition wants to get rid of this one too.
  • Both parties want to return the government budget to a surplus, but disagree on how to do it. This is generally the least substantive point, as it leads to a lot of name calling about how bad the other guy is at balancing thier budgets.
  • Gay marriage, which Labor supports and the Coalition opposes. Though this is a pretty minor issue for most people.
As I said though, these issues are maybe getting 20% of the discussion? The other 80% is basically shit-stirring and name-calling. If you're interested in seeing which party you agree with, the ABC has done a survey thing called Vote Compass which goes through this election's main issues and tells you where you stand. If you're interested in what politics feels like in another country, I'd recommend checking it out, and I'd be interested to hear where you guys stand if you do take it.

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Okay, that turned out to be not such a short primer after all. But hopefully, you'll understand what went into the 30 seconds of handshaking and speeches you get on your TV a little better than you might've otherwise.

Thanks for reading.