BEDA #16: Let's talk about weddings

So because my brother got married last month, it's a topic that has been omnipresent for the past 6 months. Particularly because I helped plan the reception so I am well versed in the details involved.

Often, I'd be complaining to my friends about how stressful the wedding planning was going and how much it was a pain in the ass, only to be replied with either "But weddings are beautiful!" and "Wait til it is yours". To which I mostly reply that I would much rather elope, and am subsequently greeted with a lot of "WHAAAAT?"

Which brings me to my point - are weddings really that necessary? I mean, I get it. It's a celebration that every person gets once (or twice.. or thrice) in their life. It's an opportunity to have the day of your dreams to celebrate being married to the love of your life in front of your friends and family. Its a nice excuse for people to get together, dress up and party.

But really - I don't see how it's worth all the stress and months of planning that are put into it. From menu choices and linen to table arrangements, there's an infinite amount of detail that needs to be decided. I can think of many other uses of my cognitive resources. Weddings involve blood, sweat and tears that eventually culminate in one single day where you're likely to be too out of your mind tired to really enjoy.  Also, family all in one enclosed location? Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

If you're asking why don't I just have a small wedding? Yeah, I can't do that. By default Asian standards, weddings are huge affairs. From tea ceremonies with family in the morning to wedding receptions that have like 400 people (every single relative must be invited. Even if you have spoken to them a grand total of once in your life. My brother and I used to joke about how it's akin to inviting the whole "kampung", i.e. village. But really, this would be considered a small-ish wedding. Weddings in India can last up to a week and have thousands of guests. /shudder). And because there are so many people around, it doesn't become about celebrating the couple anymore. It's more about trying to entertain and feed everyone. Mind you, my plans for eloping might actually involve people coming along so it's not like it'll be completely devoid of people.  Like my best friends, who I probably want around. Or maybe not.

So many girls I know have dream weddings that they've been planning in their heads for years and simply can't wait to be able to make it a reality. I don't, and sometimes I wonder whether I am weird. I have no opposition to getting married and what not, but I don't think the wedding is really all that necessary.

What are your thoughts on weddings?